Sport-Blog.com

As the wife of a coach and the mother of three children who has played or is playing some type of sports, you'd think I'd be pretty knowledgeable about the whole sports concept. To some extent I am, even though I'm not really a sports fan...never have been. I guess I'm simply not competitive enough to be a true sport's fanatic. However, since I am surrounded by those who are, I've not really had a choice in the matter, at least as far as how a sport affects my family and my life. Even though I may not know all of the ins and outs regarding the various sports that my family has coached and/or participated in, I have learned quite a lot about how sports can affect an individual, a family, and a community as a whole. I've learned much more from the perspective of spectator than I might have learned as an active participant. Most of these lessons have been positives ones, but not all.

It seems as if children are beginning organized sports at younger ages than they did merely a decade ago. Is this a good thing? Well, if handled correctly it can be. If you've ever taken the time to watch a team of four and five year olds play t-ball, you probably enjoyed a good laugh. The children's enthusiasm is a joy to watch, as is their very short attention spans, unless they happen to be in the middle of the action. you might find some the team gazing up at the sky, looking for four leaf clovers, or slinging their gloves into the air. They're happy to be on the field, and they love having the attention of their parents, but as far as actually concentrating on the object of winning...that may not be a big priority in their case.

Is it essential, then, that we keep score, at least for this age? Maybe the question should be, why do we have our children on the field? Hopefully, we have signed them up for some type of sports to help them develop. Of course, they will develop in several ways. If your child is playing a team sports, she should benefit in many areas. She may be playing with at least some children whom she doesn't know. This is an excellent opportunity for her to learn more about children from other cultures and to get to make friends with children whom she might not ordinarily spend time with. Many lasting and good friendships have resulted between children who were teammates.

She should also be learning how to work as a member of a group. This not only means that she will have support from others in her endeavors to do well in her sport, but it also means that she can learn how to be a supporter for her teammates. She should learn valuable life skills such as empathy, compassion, kindness, fairness, and honesty, and all of these traits will become instilled in her quietly but firmly.

Children who compete in sports also learn that life isn't always fair. There may be times when a call went the wrong way, or when someone was declared the winner, when they really weren't. Your child may get cut from a school team, or he may be made to sit on the bench. What he (and you) may not realize at the time is that all of these instances will actually build and strengthen his character, preparing him for the sometimes unfairness and difficulties of life. This is where your job as a parent must really play an important role.

If you see that your child is treated unfairly, of course, there isn't anything wrong with discussing the situation with the coach. That doesn't mean, though, that he will see things your way. Now you must set an example for your child and teach him about the real purpose and priority of sports. You can let your child express his disappointment and even anger to you, but you must also teach him that if he is a member of a team, then above all, he must support that team, even if it is to his own disadvantage. In other words, there will be times that he will have to put up with some type of decision or circumstance that he doesn't deserve. However, isn't that what life is all about? In our jobs, our neighborhoods, our communities, aren't decisions made every day that may be wrong? The right people may not receive recognition, while the wrong people are rewarded? And, we as adults must learn to live with it, sometimes. How did we learn how to do this? The same way our children are learning how to deal with it.

Of course, there isn't only negative to be learned from sports. If there were, would any of us allow our children to play? Of course not! The positives should, and generally do, vastly outweigh any of the negatives. When we sign our children up for sports, we are hoping that they will get as much and more enjoyment out of it as we do watching them play. We hope they learn to love the competition. We want them to strive to do their best. If they become stars in their particular area, we burst at the seams with pride. If they don't, we are still their most fervent cheerleaders, urging them on. After all, isn't that our role in life as parents?

Hopefully, our children will develop a better self-esteem. We want them to understand how to set goals and reach for those goals. We want them to understand that failure doesn't mean that they are somehow lacking as a person, but that failure is a part of life... an obstacle that must be overcome or at least bypassed. They must learn to take the good with the bad, and they mustn't give up simply because it is hard.

The self-esteem and confidence that they will get from being a member of a team can last them throughout their school years and follow them into adulthood. The lessons that they learn on the field can follow them into their relationships and workplace. The desire to get better, work harder, and help others along the way can all be related to sports. Of course, a winning season is wonderful, but does your child's team have to win to help him or her become a better person? Absolutely not! Someone once said, "It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." How true that statement is! It doesn't just apply to the actual game, but it applies to life in almost every aspect.

With all the positives that come out of enrolling our children in some type of sports, how can we go wrong? Unfortunately, we see examples of the negative part of sports everyday in the media. Parents are assaulting coaches, umpires, referees, and other parents. Coaches are verbally and even physically abusing their players. Teammates are turning on each other or on the members of the opposing team. Violence is breaking out among competing teammates' parents as they sit in the stands during their children's game. We read about games that are thrown because money was riding on the winning team. We hear about locker room theft and school vandalism. Profanity has become a part of some team members', coaches', and even parents' vocabularies. Police security is evident at many school and community sports events. Is this what we want to teach our children? Are these the lessons we really want our children to learn?

Hopefully, the answer to this question is a resounding no! However, until we are willing to work together as parents, coaches, and a community as a whole, the negative impact of the sports environment will continue to run rampant through our cities and towns. Our children will continue to learn that it is acceptable to criticize, verbally harass, and even physically abuse those who do not see things as we do. Compassion will be absent from the field and eventually from life itself.

So parents, do your best to teach your child the real reason they need to join a team and participate in sports. Help them find the goodness in life both on and off the field. Look for positive lessons in each practice, each game, and each season. Then, watch with pride as your child takes the lessons she learned on the field and applies them in the classroom, her relationships, the workplace, and her own family. These are the reasons we should encourage our children to participate in sports.