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I can sum up my thoughts on the Super Bowl pretty quickly. I wish it were about football.

That is it. I absolutely love football. It is a sport that people outside the United States, and even many inside it, cannot understand. There is no way that someone can be a casual observer and get the intricacies of the game and the skills and strategy it requires. This game is uniquely American and represents the best of who we are.

Still the premier game of the season is now about commercials and half-time entertainment and personalities and not a lot of football.

There was a time, I hope, when the game was billed as exactly what it is - a game between the best two teams in the National Football League. In the week leading up to the game, we should be reading columnists who are talking about the blitzing defense of one of the teams and the shaky play of one team's quarterback.

We should not be thinking about creative the ad executives at Bud Light will be or about how what songs we will hear during halftime. Concerns about those peripheral issues mean that many of the people who watch the game are not actually fans of football. They are fans of the atmosphere. I cannot blame them for that preference. I know of no other event, sport or otherwise, with a tension and excitement as tangible as that before a big football game. I can experience the smells of fall and the sounds of fans and transport myself to big games I have attended.

Still, I cannot help but be annoyed when the halftime entertainment is considered more interesting than the game itself. Some of that is the fault of the NFL. The powers-that-be allowed the halftime show to become a display for popular entertainers. I for one am thankful that the whole Janet Jackson fiasco a couple of years ago pushed the NFL to take a fresh look at the game's entertainment and how it was playing out for America. Although I thought people blew the episode out of proportion, I am glad that the entertainment will be toned down, at least for a few years.

I do enjoy the commercials. I am not a complete spoiled-sport about the whole event. I have laughed at my share of commercials. There are several that I recall seeing for the first time during Super Bowls. Some popular commercials, such as the Budweiser frogs, will be associated with the Super Bowl and football commercials for a long time. I will tell you a secret, however. I do not even see all of the commercials. I subscribe to an old-fashioned notion that commercial breaks during football season are for three purposes: going to the bathroom, getting another beer, and recapping the last play. So I have missed out on my fair share of commercials.

A few years ago I attended a party with some people who I knew were not big football fans. Only when I arrived did I realize what a mistake it was. Several people walked in and asked who was playing, which I thought should be an automatic dismissal from the party. Other people had no clue about the game and asked questions every time the few real sports fans in the room cheered or jeered.

A friend and I came up with an idea. All Super Bowl parties should have a litmus test. It would be simple but could weed out the non-sports fans. Let them go to their own parties and enjoy the commercials together. When anyone comes in, we decided, that we would ask two questions. We would ask who is playing - the city and mascot. Then we would ask another simple question about the sport.

"Who is the player who directs the offense?"

"How many yards does it take to get a first down?"

"Name one current NFL coach." We would even make exception for the season's coaches who had lost their jobs already.

This litmus test is perfect for anyone trying to throw a real Super Bowl party. The sad part is that I find myself not as excited about the Super Bowl as I should be, given my attachment to the game. Get these posers out of here. I want to watch football.

By Julia Mercer