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So Now What, T.O.?
Friday, September 29, 2006
By Tovash Hatcher
Back in 2003, I was playing basketball at my alma mater with some guys on our basketball team. Playing with those guys I thought I was really doing something. On a backdoor cut, I felt a pop in my right calf. Let me tell you something; it hurt like hell and I went down faster than a runaway criminal getting caught on the TV show Cops. I went to the hospital and the doctor diagnosed a torn calf muscle. He prescribed a week's rest and a bottle of Hydrocodone for my pain. I'm pretty sure that you've had this same prescription at some point of your life but those pills are very strong and if taken in high quantities, can be dangerous.
Everyone can remember where they were when the 9/11 tragedy took place. I pride myself on having the best memory for being a guy and I can also vividly remember where I was when I first learned that Terrell Owens had to be rushed to the ER for stomach issues. I was on the couch watching TV when I saw the breaking news alert and immediately began to text message all my friends of the breaking news. Tuesday night Owens was taken to Baylor Medical Center where doctors attempted to induce vomiting. Antennas went up in my head similar to the old show "My Favorite Martian". All my attention focused on this situation that night and just could not put my finger on why Owens had to go the hospital for a stomach pump. The first thing that I thought was that TO went to a Hibachi restaurant and ate the wrong part of the Fugu blowfish. But that wasn't the case because Wednesday morning, God blessed me to get out of bed and turn I the tube. What did I see? I'll be honest with you for a minute, at the moment when my brown eyes came in contact with are the words "TO" and "suicide", my heart literally skipped a beat. Keep in mind that I was just waking up, but it felt like I was losing a friend. No sports fan wants to live in an era where a sports figure commits suicide. And it would have been even bigger if a man of his "statue" were to do such a thing to himself. I went back on the TIVO and carefully read the bottom crawl and it confirmed that Terrell Owens had attempted suicide. This just in, Terrell Owens lives. According to a re-released police statement, Owens did not attempt suicide but "accidentally overdosed" on a mixture of Hydrocodone and some other dietary supplements. Owens had suffered a broken right ring finger in the game versus Washington on September 17th and was taking the Hydrocodone for pain.
So now what TO? Will you be able to play on Sunday against the Titans? America's owner has brought you into his home and out of the rain so to speak. Meaning, he took you in when nobody else wanted you. Remember Mr. Owens that you told the Atlanta that the Falcons didn't want you. And the team that you wanted to go, the Denver Broncos, didn't want you either. So the star of the NFL now has a star on his helmet and thankfully not on his casket. On Wednesday morning after the all news came out that Owens was leaving the hospital, questions around the Dallas/Ft. Worth area were at an all-time high. Who called 911 for him? Why would he try to kill himself? What did he take to drive him to that? Was he actually depressed? And the one question that all Cowboys fans REALLY and ONLY care about asking is... (drum roll please). Will Owens take the field on Sunday? That's the only thing that the majority of the Cowboy fandom cares about around here, well at least it seems that way.
From the hospital to Valley Ranch, the scene shifted. The media was there along with tons of national and local reporters. Cameras, ink pens, and microphones filled the media room and the questions poured out. In the meantime, the Dallas PD is also having their press conference around the same time. All attention was in Valley Ranch where Owens was. But did anyone pay attention to the news headline that what I've called the Columbine part 2 took place on the same day? If not let me fill you in real quick. A guy takes about 6 high school girls hostage at a high school. He uses two girls as human shields from the police. He kills one of the girls, a 16-year old, before turning the gun on himself. If you knew that was going on congratulations to you. But I can honestly tell you that the local news channels ran TO stuff all day. Hell, I had to go online just read about the tragedy in Colorado. No matter the athlete or their troubles, he or she should not come before any shooting concerning children and/or a school.
So now what TO? Who's going to speak for you next, the butler? This Kim character that you've hired as your "publicist" needs to go. She actually made you look like a genius with the idiotic things she said at the press conference. "Terrell has 25 millions reasons to be alive". WTF??? What, rich people don't become suicidal? If I could dig up the River Phoenix I would (drug overdose qualifies as suicide to me). Or how about this line, which I loved by the way, "A man of his statue". I didn't know you even had a statue TO. What, is it next to the Tom Landry statue outside of Texas Stadium? I think that you can keep her around but please get a real publicist. She is a knockout and even after 18 hours of being at the hospital and not having a shower of any kind, I think she's a keeper. Just don't let her speak for you again. I mean she can tell her side of the story but after that, zip it.
Don't get me wrong, I am a TO supporter and I want this Cowboys/Owens marriage to work but when Owens uttered the words "get your popcorn ready" at his first Cowboys presser, I didn't know that this show would be that good. And to all the women out there that don't like sports, at least our soap opera runs thru the weekend. Enjoy the show, uh, I meant game on Sunday.
I'm Tovash Hatcher
5:15 PM
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